oh rabbit. [victoria]

[VICTORIA GREYSON]

Why didn’t he see it? Why didn’t he understand that she was in just as much pain as he was? She hadn’t been locked away in a dreadful place like Azkaban, but she had been left alone. She’d been hurt and afraid and struggling to regain some kind of control over her life without her partner and best friend at her side. She had endured countless treatments at the hospital and had to complete training sessions all over again just so that she would be able to walk normally again. And she had laid awake at night in tears because his side of the bed was cold and empty when all she had wanted was for him to pull her into his arms and hold her broken body against his chest.

She had wanted him to tell her that it was going to be okay...that they would be okay…

Despite her best efforts, Victoria’s sob made its way out of her throat and shook her entire body. He was standing right there, less than five feet away from her, and she still felt that she was alone in the room. It was like living with a ghost that haunted her in eerie silence, forced to be there but unwilling to scare her the way one might expect from a ghostly apparition.

Everything hurt. Nothing felt even remotely right. And it felt like Alain wanted absolutely nothing to do with her when he couldn’t even bring himself to-...

His hand gently pressed against her back once more. And as he murmured his weak confession, she could feel his forehead come to rest against her shoulder. It was the closest that they had been in almost nine months, even though they continued to inhabit the same living space. Then his other hand moved gently along her arm, taking the hand that held her wand in his own. ”I needed you,” she sobbed harshly. ”I woke up alone...in the hospital...a-and it hurt so much…”

Her brother had stepped out of the room to get himself a cup of coffee at the time. It had been only a few minutes. But her heart rate had spiked dangerously and the Healers had come rushing in to try and calm her, unable to get through to her. It was only when Victoria had seen her brother come through the door that anything began to make sense. Yet when she asked about her husband...about Alain…

Her body trembled dangerously as Victoria turned her head a little, feeling her cheek brush against his curly locks. ”You weren’t there,” she whispered weakly. ”I thought...y-you left…” Because the stress of having a wife with her new infirmities was probably too much for most people to handle. She hadn't known how long she had been out at that point. All she knew was that the pain she felt was incredible...but it was absolutely nothing compared to what she had felt when she realized that Alain wasn't coming to see her.

WORD COUNT: 508
TAGGED: ALAIN GREYSON
NOTES: --

[ALAIN GREYSON]

[googlefont=Libre Baskerville]

i'm a wolf.

Oh rabbit, my claws are dull now so don't be afraid

Alain felt his heart squeeze in his chest and he found himself swallowing hard. The way that she leaned into him, the emotion in her voice... he struggled to sort out all of the emotions he felt right then. Part of him felt like a failure for not having been there for her when she had needed him. That had been his entire train of thought before the massive gap in his memory. That was the last thing he remembered. His attempt to get to her side as fast as possible.

Frowning deeply, the werewolf trailed his fingers away from her hand in order to thread into her blonde locks. Turning his head slightly, he brushed his lips to her temple, the very first bit of affectionate contact beyond the simple touch he had given her earlier in the day.

"I was going to you," Alain said quietly, "The very last thing I remember is dropping everything at home and quite literally running in the direction of St. Mungo's," his voice trailed off a bit and the hand resting on her lower back trailed around so that he could hook his arm around her body and pull her more firmly back against him. "The next thing I remember is huddling back there," Alain took that moment to slowly turn them in the direction of the stoves. There was a small gap between the last stove and the wall. A small corner just big enough for a person to huddle into.

"The aurors were surrounding me, and I had no idea what was going on. I don't remember anything that the court alleged that I did. I don't remember feeling any of the anger that I supposedly displayed to my victim," he was saying very slowly, his gaze now fixated on the corner that he remembered cowering in against the aurors. His repeated questions of what he had done had fallen on deaf ears and he'd truly known nothing until he was put before the court. "But my wand showed differently," Alain whispered then, "I don't even remember leaving the house with it. I can apparate without it... could... apparate without it," he added as an afterthought.

Those terrifying moments where he had been sentenced were still burned into his mind. He had seen the papers since, they had taken the fear in his eyes in their pictures, the way he struggled against the aurors who dragged him out of the courtroom... and they had made him looked like a wild, deranged animal. The papers had speared his name to kingdom come. The photographs hadn't shown the tears in his eyes or the way that his lips formed the name of his wife. All he had wanted to know was if she was okay. Because no one had told Alain anything. For all he knew, she could have died, and he wouldn't have been there.

That part had broken his heart the most, especially when none of her family had made the effort to see or help him. Not even his own family had been able to make the trip.

"I didn't leave on purpose," Alain said quietly, "You have to believe me, Victoria. I did not hurt that man... I did not leave you... You know me. You know I am not that person."

554 words - VICTORIA GREYSON

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[VICTORIA GREYSON]

She wanted so badly to be able to disappear into him the way that she had so many times before. She wanted to feel his arms around her body as she laid her head against his chest, listening to the strong beat of his heart. It had helped ease her to sleep on so many nights that Victoria had lost count of them early on in their relationship. That much hadn’t changed after they were married.

Perhaps that was one of the things that had kept her awake when he had been gone. She no longer knew if his heart was even still beating. ”I didn’t even know if you were still alive.”

Drawing in a shuddering breath, the blonde fell silent as his hands moved along her body, fingers threading into her hair as his other arm wound around her waist. Victoria froze in his arms. He was trying to tell her about what he remembered, about the terror that he had experienced that day before he had been dragged away to Azkaban...but all she could feel was the dangerous burn in her right side from where his arm had pressed against her. She pressed her lips together, desperate to keep the painful try in her throat.

But her body betrayed her. Hot tears continued to pour from her eyes as Victoria stiffened further and her knees buckled. It was too much. Even all this time after the accident her wounds had still not healed properly. They hurt to be touched. She was forced to rely on magic to keep it protected just long enough for her to shower right now. And there seemed to be nothing at all that could help to dull the ache she continued to experience. The Healers were confused as to why she suffered so much almost two years later. No one could give her the answers that she needed.

Her hands reached blindly for something to hold onto, grabbing firmly at his shirt and arm as she collided sharply with his chest and continued to slide toward the floor. ”It hurts,” she gasped between painful breaths. ”Alain...please…”

Having him let go was the absolute last thing that she wanted right now. They had already lost so much time together. If they were to let go now...would that be the end? But the more she felt his arm the more the burn intensified, making it harder and harder for Victoria to catch her breath. Everything hurt. Everything from the tips of her toes up to her lungs and arms...it felt like she was burning with a fire that would not be stopped. Her vision began to blur, head swimming with muddled thoughts and feelings. This-...this was more than a normal attack...more than the normal pain. But Victoria was too caught up in all of it to be able to think clearly and put a name to it. Or even speak. Words were not forming on her tongue.

WORD COUNT: 501
TAGGED: ALAIN GREYSON
NOTES: </3

[ALAIN GREYSON]

[googlefont=Libre Baskerville]

i'm a wolf.

Oh rabbit, my claws are dull now so don't be afraid

Alain hadn't considered the idea that him even hugging her would bring her to so much pain. It was something that he had been so desperately trying to avoid for so long. Any time that they seemed to brush together, he was tentative, considerate of her wounds. But in the moment, he truly hadn't thought about it. All Alain had wanted was to hold her, to touch her in a way that he had not been able to for nearly a year since he had been back from Askaban.

He just wanted to hold her. He just wanted to feel safe for a few moments.

And now, with her sinking in his arms, tears flooding down her cheeks, he didn't feel safe. He felt panicked and unsure of himself. He asked himself what he had done to hurt her so badly before she spoke and made him realize that it was him touching her. Her wounds. Not wanting to just let her go to drop the floor, Alain sunk down with Victoria, his breath wavering with slight exertion and a clear weariness to the situation.

But most of all, he was devastated that his hands had caused another person pain. The fact that that person was his wife was that much more shocking to him and as soon as they were on the floor together, Alain took his hands off of her, instead leaning his forehead against the back of her shoulder and squeezing his eyes shut. Tears filled his own eyes and he had to remind himself to breathe. In and out, in and out.

Revulsion toward himself was starting to try and drag him away from this situation. Alain felt sick to his stomach, devastated that he couldn't even hold his wife in a moment of passion. If they were ever to mend things, would he even be able to make love to her? Not that it was the most important thing, but Alain was just as much a physical person as he was an emotional one. There had been a time, it seemed so long ago, where he had reveled in the physical connection he could have to Victoria. It had been such a profound feeling, that connection. Like nothing could touch either of them and they would fall into an endless cycle of passion and affection for the entirety of their lives together.

Then she had been attacked and his hands had been used to hurt someone else. And now he couldn't even touch Victoria for the comfort he needed. Alain started to pull away fully, not sure what he was more bothered by, her pain or the silent rejection of a touch he hadn't been strong enough to share just minutes ago. So he put distance between the two of them.

"I'm sorry," Alain whispered quietly, "I'm sorry, Victoria," he continued, sliding further back away from her, not touching her at all, and trying to get away from the situation he had caused. He was a coward and he was going to make a run for it, the shame too intense to ignore.

518 words - VICTORIA GREYSON

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[VICTORIA GREYSON]

”Don’t-...”

But it was already too late. Even as Victoria felt her knees giving way and her body sliding down his toward the floor, she could feel him beginning to retreat from her. He was afraid of what had happened. He hadn’t experienced an episode like this...not since his release from Azkaban. Because she had done everything that she could possibly think of to spare him from seeing her like that. From seeing the weakness that had taken over her body and left her useless to both herself and her profession.

He held on for such a brief moment that she couldn’t even try to hold onto him. He was moving away from her almost as quickly as he could once she was safely deposited on the floor. Her arm wrapped itself around her side, teeth grit against the agonizing burn as Vic slumped further toward the ground. Her other hand reached for him, stretching as far as she possibly could...but he wasn’t there. And through the haze of her tears, she couldn’t see him at all.

...it was over.

In that single moment Victoria was faced with the bitter reality that her marriage had come to an end. Alain couldn’t even stand to be near her now. He didn’t touch her because he was likely repulsed by the fact that she was now reduced to such a lowly state with barely any contact between them. And the bitter blow was almost too much for her to bear.

Hot tears moved down her cheeks in fresh waves, her body heaving as the air struggled to make it into her lungs. It wasn’t just her side that hurt now. It was her heart...her whole being. Everything felt like it was ready to shatter and leave only the empty shell of the woman she had once been in its place. Her career...her marriage...both had been taken from her in an instant. And now there was no hope of ever getting either of them back.

Were she in a clearer frame of mind she might perhaps have been able to Apparate herself back to the house, so that she could at least find some kind of comfort in the softness of the mattress beneath her. But it hurt too much, and her mind was far too lost to consider such a thing. So instinct took over, causing Victoria to curl up on the cold, dirty floor of the bakery as she sobbed.

WORD COUNT: 424
TAGGED: ALAIN GREYSON
NOTES: --

[ALAIN GREYSON]

[googlefont=Libre Baskerville]

i'm a wolf.

Oh rabbit, my claws are dull now so don't be afraid

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Alain was saying over and over again, scrubbing at his face and continuing to back away without looking behind him. Everything in him screamed 'run'. He had no fight. Everything was flight. Every bit of himself did not want to be here. He did not want to see the way that he had hurt his wife. His beloved. The love of his life. His soul mate. Because he was still hurting her. If he didn't hurt her emotionally, then he was causing her physical pain.

In that moment, he could see both with such clarity and it made him sick to his stomach. So sick that he could hardly stand to remain upright when his back hit the edge of a different counter. With his blue gaze locked on his wife, he grunted sharply at the feeling of being stopped in his escape. Stopped by something that could not move and could not move him. So he found his pause, unable to move backward in any further, nor take his gaze off of his wife, he found it better to slowly slide back to the floor.

His fist went to his mouth and he gnawed on his knuckles hard enough to draw his own blood while anxiety took him over. The apologies that continued to fall from his lips were muffled against the quiet self-mutilation and the self-loathing and the sheer inability to do anything but sit there and agonize over the agony that he had caused Victoria.

"I don't know..." Alain finally said when the sharp sting of pain in his knuckles became too much to ignore and pulled him slightly out of his haze. "I don't know how to be the man that you want me to be, Victoria. I don't know how to be the man that you loved and married because I'm broken now. And the pieces aren't fitting back together. They're not healing and some of these shards are scattered in places that I can't find them and I can't put myself back together. Doing it alone isn't working and I don't... I don't think you're in any position to help me either," Alain said in a very quick, very pained rush. His body still said run, but his mind shredded with sympathy. He just wanted to be by her, but the evidence of the pain he caused her was still so clear and blatant.

"I don't know how to be your husband anymore. I don't think I'll ever know unless you help me, but asking you to help me feels like a cop out when I don't even know how to help myself."

445 words - VICTORIA GREYSON

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